Why am I ready to move again?

Ok. I'm definitely NOT ready to move again, but you wouldn't know it based on my obsessive behavior! The first two weeks we were here I was busy unpacking, etc. And I couldn't use my computer so I didn't really have a chance to look at homes for sale (online). But the weeks following I checked the internet multiple times a day, and when I saw a house I could envision CHANGING to what I'd want, I'd follow that up with google mapping (satellite view), tax assessor record check and drawing floorplans on how I'd change the house. PA-THE-TIC. And I REALLY don't want to have to pack/unpack again. There are so many things we love about this rental house - we need to appreciate them longer!

I know my "house" is my idol - everything about it occupies my mind, from redoing it to decorating it to organizing, etc. Plus all the home decor magazines and Pinterest and my draw-your-own-floor-plan software. It got so consuming that I sensed God telling me to stop. So after mentally arguing with Him.... okay, I give in without much of a fight. I can look at houses online once a week - Friday. It's actually kind of nice to do it this way - frees my mind!

So why am I panicking so much? Why can't I just REST and enjoy this awesome rental house God gave us! I don't understand a lot of the cause-and-effect things in my life - I don't sit and analyze myself - but besides the JOY I find in thinking about houses, I think it's b/c I'm an optimist and a planner. A planner thinks ahead to the future. I'm really bad at enjoying NOW. I'm an optimist so I'm always looking for the silver lining/hopeful and excited about something in the future. So both are "in the future, in the future, in the future". The other part of "why am I not enjoying NOW" is much bigger and much more nebulous due to my lack of soul-searching. It probably has to do with contentment (thank you, "STUCK" Bible Study!) Need to re-read that chapter.

Bob said he doesn't want to start looking at houses until November - enough time for us to settle in and get to know the area. I think that's very wise and I'm following that guideline in my heart (not wanting to "jump" on every home I like). He's good at slowing me down (and I'm working on speeding him up!) Of course two days ago the perfect house came online and I have to wait to see it in person but it's priced too high anyway and we need to make these people sweat by letting it sit there for a few months. I'm good at playing hard to get; I can do this :)) And yes, someone else can always buy the house before then and I'm really ok with that. I trust that God knows best what we want and what He wants for us. That's my whole view now with the house - God - how do you want to use this house? I'd love for it to be the teen hangout - lots of toys/entertainment things (pool! bball court! soccer field! gameroom, etc!) I'd like to think that I can keep a better eye on my kids and their friends if they're under my roof (and via the secret video cameras we will have stationed all over the house). And how can this house be used by the church we join? Will we be too far-out for it to be a convenient place to have meetings/kids events, etc? God knows how to make this work.

New Hampshire was a blessing to us in many MANY ways. One of them is what it taught me regarding housing. It really changed the way I think. If we had come straight from TX I don't think I would see things the way I do now. I would be sucked right into this world. The houses down here can be HUGE. 7,000 sf including a finished basement. C-R-A-Z-Y and no thank you. I love having the perspective we have on housing thanks to NH. Houses that are too big and too gaudy here stand out in a bad way. But the practical contain-the-heat nature of NH housing also makes us thankful for the tall ceilings/open feel of our rental house. It seems so fancy to us but it's probably just NORMAL for around here! I'm so thankful to be thankful for something that's taken for granted! To see it with new eyes! I've also learned to relax decorating-wise. No one cared in NH - it wasn't a priority. I want to take that with me and be an example of freedom. To provide a relaxed, laid-back place where people can just be themselves and don't have to worry about measuring up/comparing themselves. Don't get me wrong - I want my house too look nice. But according to my standards, not the masses'. And I hope that when the time comes to buy/decorate, I will have the desire to pray that God cover me in that process and protect me from obsessing. I want the house to be used for HIS glory, not mine.